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Stop Asking Women Why They're Still Single

Updated: Aug 21, 2021

Arghhhhhhhhh, how many times have you been asked this as a single/divorced/separated woman?!

And this question is just the start of a slippery slope of cliché responses to our answers...

If you've politely explained that you're trying but not successful yet, then you usually get a bit of this: "you'll find a man soon", "you're such a lovely/good-looking/[insert compliment here] girl, I don't know why you can't find someone".

Whereas if you try to explain that you're not actually that bothered by a relationship or have other priorities, then it usually goes something like this "oh, you'll change your mind when you find "the one"" or "Work isn't everything you know".

I'm not sure if it's the responses or the wry looks that go with them that get me more but apart from it being a boring question that people seem to ask as much as they ask couples in relationships "when are you popping the question?" and married couples "when are you having kids", the reality in all these three cases is that these questions imply a narrative that we "should" all be following.

It's not their fault. It's what they were asked, it's what everyone asks, and so they continue to ask too. It's classic small talk chat. But we're in an ever-changing world where that conversation needs to be different. It's not that those topics are completely off-limits, they can make for some really deep, meaningful conversations, but they aren't always met with the open space to discuss and share in that way, nor are they asked in a way that facilitates that.

I experienced this myself when I was married. The minute we were married, the only question peop